The only Bluetooth device that has ever worked reliably for me is the first-generation Apple AirPods. In every other circumstance Bluetooth has been hit-or-miss. Probably my Mac will connect to my stereo; but maybe not. I bought the AirPods Pro and they never connected to anything, so I sent them back. And don’t get me started about trying use Bluetooth in my car.

Maybe it works great for everyone else, and my body emits strange radiation that disrupts it for me and me alone. But in any event: I hate Bluetooth, and with very good cause.

Those old AirPods have (inevitably) lost much of their battery life, but they would still be fine for listening to stuff on my morning walks – except that often when I am away from the house the right pod loses its connection and can’t get it back. Weirdly, when I at home this doesn’t happen. But it’s one more form of unpredictability and unreliability and I’ve pretty much had it with that. So I’ve set the AirPods aside altogether and am using wired earbuds again. Last night I was lying in bed listening to some music with them, and as I was drifting off to sleep I thought: Wow, this is amazing. I never have to charge these things – and their battery doesn’t weaken over time because they don’t have a battery. They work, flawlessly, whenever I plug them in. As long as my device has electricity so too do these headphones. What an incredible step forward in technological achievement! And thinking such satisfied thoughts, I rolled over in bed and felt the cord of the headphones tightening around my neck. By the time I rescued myself I was wide awake again. 

Well. Nothing’s perfect, I guess.